CHINESE DO DRINK, BUT DON'T DANCE / MY BEIJING ADVENTURE
Beijing must have the worst gay night spots and population ratio among the huge cities. I truly hope that number will grow as young Chinese have no issues with gays whatsoever. The older generation might still make insensible jokes, but as you don’t speak Mandarin, you will have a great weekend there.
I knew how big this city is and how complicated is getting a taxi, so I picked a hotel near metro and gay bars. Expats (and gays) tend to stay close to the Workers stadium / Sanlitun area - which is a perfect option.
They say China has the internet firewall as big as the Great Wall. It’s true - getting through to Facebook or Google was not easy even using various VPN servers. However the communist party doesn’t care much about the gay apps - feel free to use them all. As usual, I looked online for new friends, party buddies who know the local scene well. I was lucky to meet this French boy who calls himself the Super Tramp (I guess you are what you wanna be!) is a true party boy and a (former) rice queen - perfect!
My new friend knew exactly where to take me as he lived in Beijing for a while and been around the block. Of course we got some delicious dumplings (Chinese food in China tastes so much better than the westernized versions!) and headed over to Sanlitun area. That’s basically a posh outdoor shopping mall; however at night it’s more famous for the bars and clubs - from super posh to the most basic ones. You have to walk on the terrible street without any sidewalk making sure a brand new Ferrari or $1 worth crappy bicycle doesn’t run you over.
First stop - 3 levels up via creepy dirty staircase - KAI bar/club. In the western world it would be defined as a dive bar, but here they sometimes call it a club (that’s how miserable gay nightlife is in Beijing). It’s a dark, dirty, and smoky place (everybody smokes inside in China). Funny enough they play only western pop music. You might feel like in a sh1thole in some small town in the USA, but everyone here is Chinese. I saw a total of 5 westerners throughout the whole night there, that’s including my friend and seeing myself in the selfie in took.
Basically it’s the place where you go with your friends, order a huge tray of drinks (must be at least 20) and play a drinking game that involves 5 dice and guessing the numbers. They tend to play this game until somebody passes out or pukes somewhere (including next to the table). Yes - this bar smells! I’ll be honest I was absolutely not into playing the ridiculous games - chatting, drinking, doing shots was a more fun option. It’s worth mentioning the costs - no cover and well drinks cost $1.5. Yup no mistake in this number. It’s obviously a fake alcohol (as in the most places in China), but you just have to roll with it and hope to stay alive.
Around midnight it was the time to explore the only real gay club of the capital - DESTINATION. I was impressed! It’s a really good multilevel club on the global standards. Free coat check, pretty good design, rather good drinks. Well drinks are up to 10 times more expensive, starting at $10. As I witnessed on the weekend nights this place get’s really busy, but sadly hardly any expats.
The majority space is for rooms with sofas, where boys are chilling, not drinking much (alcohol prices!). Chinese do not dance much; and when alcohol is expensive they just sit and look bored. There’s one dance floor with circuit music (obviously this terrible trend is a global thing now) where boys try to dance. Dancing in China means standing still and slightly moving your hands. Or if you’re a crazy party boy you might even step to the sides sometimes… Boring AF. However the worst part was the lights - they do have a white flash, which is flashing nonstop. My brains simply couldn’t take that longer than 10 minutes. We ended up having a few more drinks (spending too much money) and leaving very soon. You decide if you want such an experience - I’m not coming back!
Obviously the next night we - the party boys had to go out again! We tried some straight posh bar - cocktails were rather ok, but I obviously needed some more gay action. Out of two venues to choose - a sh1thole KAI seemed like a better option.
As it was Saturday night there was even more action. Having our expectations really low we had an amazing time. The fun started after Chinese got wasted (meaning - in 10 minutes). A few of them took their t-shirts off (fyi it looked like gym doesn’t exist in this country) and ran towards the tiny dancing area with a strip pole in the middle. No couple or sexy dancing, just every single guy on the dance floor was touching the pole and sorta dancing with it (more like having convulsions). Gays cannot survive without the strip pole anywhere on this planet!
Later they literally started crawling towards us and telling us how cute we were (they knew some English!), sometimes passing out on their way, sometimes just forgetting what they are doing. It was pretty funny. We both were absolutely drunk and still felt like the soberest people in the room.
Beijing was fun - go there, try it, especially if you like Chinese boys. But do not overstay there - one weekend is more than enough!
It's time for Beijing ratings:
KAI 🍭🍭
hotness of the crowd ---------🍭
friendliness of the people ----🍭🍭🍭
music quality ------------------🍭
drinks --------------------------🍭🍭
lights and sound --------------🍭
coolness of the venue --------🍭
DESTINATION 🍭🍭
hotness of the crowd ---------🍭🍭
friendliness of the people ----🍭🍭
music quality ------------------🍭
drinks --------------------------🍭🍭🍭
lights and sound --------------🍭
coolness of the venue --------🍭🍭🍭