MY DESPERATE SEARCH FOR A DECENT PARTY IN COLOMBIAN PARTY CITY
This time my jet lag was the worst ever. After arriving in Cartagena first night I could hardly stand on my feet; there was no chance for a night out in the town. For the first time I had zero FOMO knowing that my friend is going out. A couple nights later I was ready and absolutely starving for the night out. Nothing could disappoint me as soon as I see cute boys and have enough alcohol.
It was a Friday night. We went firstly to the club D8 - the only one for gays. After we paid the cover and opened the door to the first room - the sound level (actually noise level as the sound system is the worst ever) basically shot me dead. The club was almost empty, and I left it after 30 minutes planing to come back the next day expecting it to be busier. I never do that - but this place was a hell (not in a fun way).
On my way back I decided to see the other G venue of the town - LE PETIT. That basically is a bar that has a cover - ridiculous! It’s really super ‘petit’, just a few tourists and a handful of locals hanging out. But I must say the service was nice - the boys are very friendly and it’s much cheaper than the club. Anyways - this place was also dead. Had to go back to my Casa and hope for a better tomorrow.
Saturday night - the best party night around the globe - right? Still, I did not have high expectations, I simply hoped that D8 is not dead. And it wasn’t - at least at the first glance. Same trashy sound levels, but much busier dance floor. However, I would not call it packed.
This time I stayed much longer (maybe 3 hours or so, which is basically nothing in my party experience). That was enough time to explore all 3 levels.
The first floor is all about circuit music, or the way they imagine electro music to sound. By circuit I also mean some big teenager playing with the buttons of the DJ system pretending to be Calvin Harris. They even show all the time his name on the screens. What a star!
Sound level in this room on the level 1 to 10 was 99. Seriously I’ve heard the noise in the Asian clubs, but this is out of this world. Most likely Colombian gays have huge problems with hearing. The light system is the funniest I’ve ever seen. Thank god for Christmas - $5 Christmas tree lights from China saved the club! Otherwise it would be really dark.
The second floor was all about local pop music plus one English song per hour. I’ve been around South and Latin America and I know they do like everything salsa, but usually you hear the same songs everywhere, but not in Colombia. I’m pretty sure it was all about local (shitty) music that the whole crowd of boys and girls sang along moving their asses to the salsa rhythm. Surprisingly no reaction to Shakira - they did not seem to be proud she was born just couple hundred km away. During Justin Bieber song everybody simply sat down. Anything English doesn’t work there, even the gay anthem ‘I will survive’ sounded foreign for locals - nobody sang along!
On this floor the sound went off for 10-15 minutes per hour. Nobody cared! I believe that’s standard to them - third world level. However let me mention that prices are definitely not like in the third world. Drinks and a cover were the same as in the USA and many other countries - $5-7. Somebody is making good money owning that sh1thole!
My favorite place was terrace where you can hear both rooms. This ‘stereo’ is obviously terrible, but it’s not too loud and you can even understand what some guy is telling you (if you’re super lucky and that’s in English). I was lucky to met couple teachers visiting from the different province - one of them spoke very good English - hurray! Conversation obviously was about how to get laid and sex standards around the world. A pretty strange conversation with the secondary school teachers I must say, but that was my highlight of the night.
There’s also the third level - the darkroom. Funny enough that’s the only place that has it's name written in English. They can’t say much in English, but they do know what the darkroom is! It’s basically a terrace with a roof, not really that dark. But they definitely have the most interesting arrangement there. There are 3 or 4 mosquito net covered areas. I know I sound ridiculous by saying - that’s the most classy dark room ever. But it is!! The room that adds the most to the ratings of the club!
On my way back I couldn’t stop thinking - what happens to the gays when they reach 30? That’s the biggest mystery about this city. Neither online nor in the clubs I haven’t seen locals that age or older. They all look super young.
Let me finish by saying that Cartagena is definitely not a place for gays to go party. If anybody tells you that it’s a gay destination - do not trust them!
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LE PETIT 🍭
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