THEATRON - THE GAY AMUSEMENT PARK



Whenever I told anyone in Colombia, that I’m going to Bogota - the reaction was the same - ‘you must go to THEATRON! Everybody has been there and everybody loved it!

I arrived at the city on Thursday; being by myself I obviously started looking for cute and interesting boys to meet, go clubbing with. The boys I saw online were really handsome; we don’t appreciate that country enough for giving us so many cuties. The next day I met this beautiful and very friendly boy who gladly showed me around the nice neighborhoods of the city and we agreed to meet later for clubbing.

A few hours later I was ready - showered, dressed up and excited for the night. Nobody told me that Colombians are always late, so I had to learn in a hard way. My boy responded to my message only after our agreed meeting time and arrived at my hotel an hour later. (In the next few days I got more accustomed to locals always being 30-60 minutes late).


You should never get into a random taxi in Bogota - call one and get an Uber (which is also always late!). But oh well, we just got a taxi on the street and it was fine. Going back was not as nice as the driver decided to ignore all the red lights (I counted at least 7) and speed limit by driving at least 100 km/h.

If you’re going there by yourself get your ride straight to the door of the club as the neighborhood is definitely not for classy people. Being with a local it was much easier - we got out a few blocks away. To me that didn’t feel safe at all. He told me a few stories how he was mugged and all his belongings stolen - you know - just so I feel more ‘confident’.

It’s pretty amusing to see the crowd couple blocks around the club. In the streets full of trash, graffiti, a smell of pee in the air, around homeless people, drug addicts; the dressed up queens are marching towards the gay temple of the Latin America.



Approaching the club you can hear the whole city block bouncing and a huge crowd of boys waiting in a line. I though the line was long on Friday night, but Saturday it was just humongous, it felt like entering Madonna’s concert. (And yes - I went there two nights in a row). Funny enough when you buy your ticket ($10-15) you get a plastic cup. Do not loose it - you will be drinking all the free drinks from it till 2 am. Sometimes you will have to fight, but eventually you will get that vodka or whiskey. Even after the happy hour the drinks are pretty cheap.

When it comes the time to explore the club you realize it’s basically a Disneyland for drunk gays. Totally my type of place! I stopped counting the rooms after 12. Just too many - you literally can get lost there. They have everything - any music style you can imagine. From reggaeton to electro, pop, rock and everything in between. Some DJs are terrible, but you always have the other room to escape.



You can dance in the church, outdoor town square, in the rooftop, in the huge theater; play some pool; get your favorite cocktails or simple beer; buy a snack from the food truck. They even have la tienda where you can buy some sexy underwear or a dildo if you wish. Everything your gay heart and brain sinking in alcohol can want!

Enjoy the long and pretty well produced show in the biggest room. Really good dancers and singers performing famous musical numbers; lots of confetti, lasers, even fake snow, funny mechanical ladder for singers - the full package of entertainment.

I had fun simply by walking from one room to another. Just don’t go to the room where the chairs have celebrity photos printed on them. The most arrogant waiters ever, they did not even add ice to the drinks we brought from the other bar and didn’t accept credit cards as we did not buy a bottle (other places were fine with any amount).




Did I mention that Colombians are very cute? The crowd is pretty nice dressed and very handsome. They are also very friendly and I got a feeling that they do like us, foreigners.

Those two nights in the same club with my adorable friend were amazing! If anybody tells you not to go to Bogota as there’s nothing to do - that’s so wrong - there’s THEATRON!

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hotness of the crowd ---------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

friendliness of the people ----🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

music quality ------------------🍭🍭🍭🍭

drinks --------------------------🍭🍭🍭🍭

lights and sound --------------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

coolness of the venue --------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

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