THE BEST PARTY IN BUENOS AIRES - HUMAN! (UPDATED)



The party is a combination of two crucial ingredients for the best night - a good party promoter and an open bar.

Rheo throws many parties and the production is pretty high quality (lately going slightly down, but still pretty ok). HUMAN is their only open bar event, and free drinks is a must in this macho culture. Those butch men have to get their queen groove on and only alcohol makes it happen.



It takes place every Saturday during the summer and sometimes during the long weekends throughout the rest of the year at Crobar. Get your codeword for a discount from their Facebook page; pay $18 for the cover and have all the free drinks you desire till 5 am (water for longer, but it does run out too). Make sure you come early so you can enjoy the open bar for longer - around 2:30 is the perfect time (cover discount valid till 3 am).

They have an Argentine style VIP area - people pay extra $9 to get a wristband and to be able to get the same drink in a different bar and sit on sofa’s there (lots of sofas in the main area too). Total nonsense - I’ve never done that and don’t recommend it. $9 makes you a really cheap VIP.


Buenos Anus (sorry Aires) has a few more open bar parties, but they are usually cheap, low quality - you know the ones where your iPhones get stolen. This one is different. One of the drink options is champagne with energy drink - don't ask me who the f drinks that! I just stick to vodka + jugo (orange juice) or vodka + speed (energy drink).

The boys here are definitely the cutest. And when you give them all the drinks they want - the magic happens! I’ve never had a night there without kissing a cute boy... or two. Even if you happen to be not drunk enough to approach that cute guy they will approach you. People say bathrooms do get pretty busy in the wee hours too.



The club is big, they have a good amount of LEDs and pretty good light and sound system. Music repertoire is pretty much the same every time: pop hits followed by latino tunes followed by some kind of electro. Which is the perfect combination to get the best of BA night life (most of the other clubs overdo on latino beats).

Well everything is great just don’t look down as you will be dancing in the pile of empty plastic glasses and the floor covered in 1/2 inch of alcohol mud. Disgusting! But you might not care while being wasted. Just be smart - wear the worst shoes you have.



The worst part is stepping out of the club at around 7 am into the bright daylight. It's totally real life “Walking Dead”… gay edition. You just have to embrace your zombie look and smile to the boys - they all are heading the same direction - Palermo buses/metro. I learned that this walk is also great to meet the boys - nobody notices my blue eyes in the dark club, however I get a ton of compliments on my zombie walk. Blues eyes is the major property in South America. If you haven’t met someone to bring home - zombie walk might help. Everybody is super friendly... and horny...


Another party by Rheo - RHEBEL - every second Friday of summer - the only gay open air event. Sadly no open bar, but still - it’s an absolutely a must. Make sure you get a discount on their Facebook page. They have more parties, but none of them is even remotely a good as those 2. For instance they had a party for new years eve, which was a disappointment. Stick to HUMAN and RHEBEL!

UPDATE. Aug 2017. No more open bar at HUMAN. You get 3 drinks for the cover. It's not bad, but not enough for local boys to go crazy. As I'm sure this party will never be as good, I'll have to look for other cities to spend my European winter.

HUMAN 🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

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RHEBEL 🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

hotness of the crowd ---------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

friendliness of the people ----🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

music quality ------------------🍭🍭🍭🍭

drinks --------------------------🍭🍭🍭🍭

lights and sound --------------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

coolness of the venue --------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭

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