AMSTERDAM CANAL PRIDE OR 100 BOYS IN THEIR TUTUS
Traveling from pride to pride made me very proud pride critic. Does it make any sense? Well, for me it does!
Amsterdam canal pride is pretty unique - no cars, no trucks, no marching people - only boats and sometimes some drunk people swimming or floating on their inflatable pink flamingos.
Everything begins on Friday. Firstly all the basic city parties. Usually, there are many of those; therefore be very picky! If you want fewer tourists and more gays - go to Homo Monument for some DRAG OLYMPICS; or Reguliers street for some street drinking with gays.
Friday night for some reason is not as advanced in this city, your only options are SOHO dancing bar, NYX to dance with teenagers or CHURCH if you're ready to dance in your undies and spend some time in the darkroom. We made it to the street drinking, but lines to the clubs were too long. Which was actually great - I will be alive for the canal parade!
Saturday morning everybody is checking the weather - you’re happy if it's not raining in this rainy city! Guess what - God loves the gays (I’m sure every gay 'prayed' on the knees the night before) - it was actually sunny! Actually, the sun can also kill you if you drink and dance shirtless for 6 hours. Huge thanks to that cute twink whom I met near the peeing station (yes they have those) who applied sunscreen all over my body.
Watching the boat parade from the bridge or embankment is fun, but getting on the viewing party boat is absolutely incredible! I mean it's more about your own party and less about parade (I saw like 10 boats out of some 80). Make sure you find a good one with sexy shirtless boys! I was at the very best - we even got covered by a couple TV channels. The TUTU CREW boat with 100 gays and their friends in the best dress code ever - leggings and tutus - super masc4masc and not gay at all! If you look at the drone view - you can clearly see us (hint - look for the largest amount of naked skin!).
I wish I could remember everything (my typical thoughts on the next day). Many of us had to literally check the pictures to see what we were doing. Rumor has it somebody did a backflip into the canal while holding a glass of prosecco, some boys used the dress code for some indecent acts. Oh man - I missed everything again! Thanks God I didn't miss the alcohol. I remember I was lifting lots of bottles and glasses, talking about things to many people and managed to injure my legs pretty badly (still have a huge rainbow color bruise - gay AF). They say we had 50 liters of strong liquor, 250 beers and everything else you can imagine.
That must have been the best Amsterdam pride parade party so far (and I’m sure the next one will be even better!). When I got home from the parade and looked at the mirror - I seriously looked like a gay trash, never seen myself in so dirty and bloody leggings. But I simply embraced it! My boat mates didn’t look any better! And those who did look I’m sure will not be welcome next year! You must give 100% of yourself to the parties!
After the nap (or more alcohol) for the night you have two options. IS BURNING for techno lovers and hipsters or FUNHOUSE for circuit queens. I ended up in the later one (for the record I’m nothing like those steroid queens). It had everything you would expect - high quality production, lasers (I’m still a laser boy), surprisingly ok music and of course the shirtless crowd. I was happy to be with my boat boys and Brazilians (they are definitely the most fun part of the city). The night was fun, but next year I’m definitely doing IS BURNING (hopefully I can survive without lasers).
If you’re alive the next day for some day drinking and dancing you must go to ROSARIO party (XXL edition) in the middle of Vondelpark. Must be the most interesting gay crowd: zero circuit boys, lots of hipsters. They even had an inflatable castle for drunk gays to jump and get injured! I wish I was more alive to come early for that!
However, I did manage to make it to my favorite Sunday affair - TRUT. It’s as fun as always - read more about it here. The whole weekend was insane. I can't wait for the next pride!
As usual - the ratings for the parties:
FUNHOUSE XXL 🍭🍭🍭
hotness of the crowd ---------🍭
friendliness of the people ----🍭
music quality ------------------🍭🍭
drinks --------------------------🍭🍭
lights and sound --------------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭
coolness of the venue --------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭
ROSARIO XXL 🍭🍭🍭🍭
hotness of the crowd ---------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭
friendliness of the people ----🍭🍭🍭🍭
music quality ------------------🍭🍭🍭🍭
drinks --------------------------🍭🍭🍭🍭
lights and sound --------------🍭🍭🍭🍭
coolness of the venue --------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭
TUTU CREW 🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭
hotness of the crowd ---------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭
friendliness of the people ----🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭
music quality ------------------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭
drinks --------------------------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭
lights and sound --------------🍭🍭🍭🍭
coolness of the venue --------🍭🍭🍭🍭🍭